Fiercely Loyal

by Fearless Leader

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about

“Fiercely Loyal” is an 8 track reflection on the entrance into adulthood; specifically the moment you realize you’re no longer a kid, but that being an adult isn’t any kind of escape from the events that shape our youth.

credits

released 12 December 2014

Fearless Leader is:
Ian Blancarte = guitar + vocals
Justin King = bass + vocals
Adam El Khatib = drums + vocals
Patrick McLean = vocals

Fiercely Loyal recorded and produced by bro Rowdy Gleason (of Pastmadonna) at The Vera.

Fiercely Loyal mastered by Rick Fisher at RFI (the same man who mastered "Abracadabra" by men at work, no big deal).

tags

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Track Name: Broken Bonds and Infinite Sarcasm
I can't help but say,
I hate New York city,
My hearts convinced, I'm resolute –
I'm sick of LA.

We run to these cities,
In our attempt to make change,
But as trains on their tracks,
These connections remain.

And we've broken these bonds in,
callous disregard,
with a promise of return,
a promise far gone.

But it's impossible to blame,
These truths that I hold,
So I'd rather keep my eyes shut tight,
And scream the words I've always known:

Fuck new york city;
I'm sick of LA;
I'm not strong enough to blame myself (for not being able to cope)
so I push them away.
Track Name: Let's Say Hello With Violence
Let’s get this over with.

Let go –
Let go –
Let go –

Let's say hello with violence,
Let's tear each other to shreds,
Let's lay around until we're dead.

Woh we'll take it slow,
And oh, we'll take it slow.

Woh let's take it,
This is that torn and tattered semblance,
This is the regard I once held for my fellow man,
This is the will that binds us all.


I can't,
I can't control,
I've lost this sad soul.


I can't,
I can't control,
I've lost that which held my resolve.

(dance party)

Let's say, hello, with violence,
Let's tear each other to shreds.

Let's hold, this close, my brother,
I'll tear your feelings to shreds.


Let's lay, waste, to common sense,
We'll tear each other to shreds.

(disgusting solo)

Let's say hello with violence.
Track Name: Her Early Morning Light
She started when she was very young,
with a boy who swore to open her eyes.

She was trained by her mother,
trained for abuse,
She never disagreed,
though she never understood why.

She held losing cards from the start,
Her mother a monstrosity,
Her father reaching for the bottle.

She never knew how to play,
In fact this was discovering self loathing,
This is, this is discovering regret.

She held her face in her hands.

I can't forget –
I can't forget –
I can't forget –

Its burned in my blood!


I can't forget –
I can't forget –
I can't forget –

Its burned in my blood!

Through a dull thick haze,
In the early morning light,
There's pain, only pain.

It's five days since she's seen a single friendly face.

(mash mash mash mash mash)

How could you know you've lost control?

It's five days since she's seen her home
She's lost.
She's distraught.
She's destroyed.

She touches blood on her face.
And she… she…

(duh duh duh duh duh)

How could you know you've lost control???

Twice he held her,
He'll never know he pays for her misery.

Twice he held her,
He'll never know he pays for her misery.

It's misery!
Oh it's misery!
It's misery!
It’s misery!
Track Name: Old Math
Missed the forest for the trees,
Words like nails pounding down on me.

Worn down fame in two's and threes,
Plastic trash piled up in heaps.

Whispers burned through cotton clouds,
thoughts provoked our voices loud.

I've lacked the colors to paint this dark portrait.
I've lacked the colors to paint this dark portrait.

So I broke down the canvas,
A feast for the creatures.

This is a sleight on my true purpose –
This is all of us,
Holding hands,
Staring each other down our throats,
And exchanging our deepest, darkest, blood.

Today is the one day,
I refuse to be anything.

Today is the one day,
I refuse to be found.

Today is the one day,
To give up the one thing that you possess,
To leave yourself out for nature forgiving –
I've lost myself in this fortress.

Today is the one day,
I've left myself out out of the chorus.

Today is the one day,
I've left myself out of the chorus.

And I…
I can’t remember.
Oh and I...
I’m so useless.
Oh and I’m so useless.


And I'll burn this forest...
for the trees!

With the roots below your broken limbs,
will the wind still screech your hollow name?

And I’m done.
Track Name: Drawn in Memory
I saw her dad standing in the middle of the street,
The watch closed and I have wet feet.

And I can’t feel my feelings –
But that’s ok because sometimes it’s better to be ruined.

And I back up where I can see myself in the mirror,
But that’s not the same – as looking out at your face.

As it’s pouring out I see the blood,
It’s dripping out, it’s no longer there.
It’s in my hands.

Why was I thinking that I would want to follow you there.
It would have been better if I just stayed where I was.

And it wasn’t the same anymore.
Now that you’re gone, and now I’m here.
And you’re here, and you’re on the ground and I’m standing over you.

It’s like I’ve always wanted,
It’s like I never thought it would be but here it is –

And I can not remember the last time I cried this hard.

These memories come in waves of joy
Filtered through a purposed, focused, misdirection.

You feel the ebb and flow,
The edges softened,
The core revealed.

This was happiness, youth long past,
A trip – streaming sunshine, lips pressing lips.

Or this was misery – personal offense.
Retained well past import;
physical discomfort upon recollection.

I held these thoughts in the palm of my hand.

The truth these memories bring,
Draw on false realities.
Truth these memories bring,
Are toxic without reflection.
And they draw us in.

I screamed to hear my own voice!
I choked on words that have kept me quiet!
I've held my tongue between my teeth
I fell in step and I slowly lost sight


I fell away!
I fell away from the things that moved me!
I fell away!
I fell away from the things that moved me!

And again I found myself in this certain position where my upbringing impacted my adulthood in a way I couldnt possibly hope to control. I find my self waiting' wanting to understand.

How I had come to live as long as I had and not been crushed by my own ego or the physical events that surround ones life. How had I come to this place, really, how did this happen? How did I come to this place, really, how did this happen?
Track Name: What Hands Have Done in Cold Resentment
Trains slide over tracks,
Where the river turns at broken intervals.

The sun beats down relentless,
a torrent uninterrupted.

He sits there waiting for much longer than he cares to wait but –
He's always been a sucker for misunderstanding.

(And we've all been suckers.)

His crushed hand throbs in his lap,
Events flash behind his eyes.

The encroaching dark hides that
crusted blood but –

He can't hide what his hands have done,
(just as they couldn't stop).

His hand shakes on the handle
Twists, and enters the room dark.

The mirror lays unswept,
a ragged mess.

The old man sits quietly,
His eyes lift.

I've never understood –
I've never found safety –
I've found a rough truth –
I've found a brutal honesty –
I've seen him as broken –
I've seen him as fallible –
I've discovered my own strength –
I've discovered an awful truth.

This is what growing up is supposed to be right?
This is destroying your idols with physical violence.
This is destroying something you've believed in.
This is destroying the one thing firm in your life.
This is how you grow to be a man.
This is resentment incarnate.
This is resentment incarnate.

I've held something of a shadow.
And between my two hands it's bled.
It's not the blood of my old man.
It was the blood of my innocence.

This is growing up right?
This is growing up?

I lower myself down and I float.
Nothing bothers me here.
The world is suddenly silent.
And I am suddenly cold.
I float.
Minnows swim through my legs.
I see the sun splashing on the current.
This is an introspective lie we tell ourselves.
This is a lie we tell ourselves.

For the second time in a day, I stand on my own two feet.
Track Name: A Heavy Bottle Rings True
He put the bottle to the ground,
He surveys the mess that lay at his feet.

The shards glitter like the ocean,
and just as treacherous.

He sees himself in those waters, lost.

He brushes past a half obscured recollection,
And he finds the bottle empty.

I can't run –
I can't run –
I can't run –
I can't run –

How many days until I'm dead?
How many days until I'm dead?
How many days until I'm dead.

Now he rises to his feet.
It’s not hard to find yourself falling into the same patterns.
He stumbles, pain filling his brain cuz we tend to fall hard.
His rough hands shaking worse than the ground beneath his feet.
The house is empty; he leaves broken windows for a bright morning.
He's laid the bottle down, a temporary respite.
As his clarity evolves his panic increases.

He puts the bottle to the ground.
He puts the bottle right to the ground.

He puts the bottle to the ground.
He surveys the mess that lays at his feet.
He finds a photo of his daughter.
He folds the edge between grubby fingers.
He finds himself weeping.
Lost, in his own fucking agony.
Track Name: Fiercely Loyal
You are the sun in the sky,
You bleed through my fingers,
You stain the clouds gold and red.

You are the moon in the stars,
You bled through my fingers,
You color seas blue and white.


You, you've held your life in your hands,
It bled through your fingers,
And stained the world black and white.

You are the sun in the sky,
You bleed through my fingers,
You stain the clouds gold and red.


You are the moon in the stars,
You bled through my fingers,
Color of the sea blue an white.


You, you've held your life in your hands,
It bled through your fingers,
And stained the world black and white.

You are the sun and the moon.
(I am burning)
I’m an anchor lost at sea.